just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
