I want to walk on stilts...naked
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
