All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
God I need to hump something, right now.
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