Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Randomize
