can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
