She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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