She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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