i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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