Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
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