Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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