dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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