fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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