I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
