she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
