u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
So squirting runs in the family.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
