He had one of those small greek statue penises
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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