Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
