The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
