1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
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Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
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Oh shit. There are penis maracas
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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