the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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