GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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