Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
