remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
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I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
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