I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
