im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
