i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
