I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
