Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
