porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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