Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Randomize
