I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
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You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
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I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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