She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
