if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
