in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
babies were throwing up all over the place
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
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