I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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