and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
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