i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
