No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
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