meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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