Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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