I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
