I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
