yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
