i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
