For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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