um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
