I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
