shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize