Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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