he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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