Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Randomize
