hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
My vagina is officially offended.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
