i think my mom watched the whole time
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
