I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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