so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
