You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
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every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
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Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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