I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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