We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
