good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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