from now on my penis is your penis
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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