Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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