so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
