Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize