shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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