so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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