Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
