How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
