i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
